Genius (With Numbers)

The D Man's brother-in-law, Schwarzy, can tell you the number worn by every player that has ever graced your favorite team's roster. Uncanny, but true. Schwarzy's prowess was on full display during the recent Dodgers-Phillies game. The D Man began berating him for his fair-weather Dodger fandom, and, in a show of true loyalty in the wake of another collapse, The D Man named the entire roster of the 1989 Chicago Cubs. But in an even greater feat, Schwarzy proceeded to recite the number of every player named. Sure, he knew The Hawk (#8), The Rifleman, (#12), and Ryno (#23). But Dwight Smith and Jerome Walton? No chance.

The D Man has too much pride to call Schwarzy an unqualified genius. But when he instantly responded with Smith's #18 and Walton's #20, there was nothing left to say. So here's to you Schwarzy . . . a genius . . . (with numbers worn by professional and collegiate athletes).